The Forever War of the Mind {An Added Link}

No one is trying to find excuses nor defend what the Major did at Ft Hood to his fellow soldiers, but what he was doing for his service career, whether it helped push him over the edge or not, is of major concern for what this country faces for it's support of it's extremely failed policies.

I have been trying to follow any facts, and not the rantings from the extremist within, but facts, of this tragic event. And the more I find the more it looks like one huge failed Military Cluster F**k again, joining the many we already know about, of these present times, and those of our time as we served and returned from Vietnam and the years after. Like why he was even transfered to Hood, why was he promoted, why the Army seemed not to be listening to him as he had to get a lawyer in trying to get discharged, why was he getting enhanced weapons training at Hood in preparation to leave for Afghanistan, why he even had orders to deploy, why there seems to be reports prior to just listed that should have started the lights going off in the Command Structure. I hope to try and put something together if I can wrap my mind fully around all these seemingly Military failures and this Major's Extreme Criminal Act. But let me say this, expanded abit from what a brother 'Nam Vet stated earlier today: "Everyday a Ft Hood happens in Iraq and Afghanistan, and now in Pakistan, they've already suffered through Many 9/11's in these nine years!!"

The following really touches on the reality of these times as to the soldiers serving multiple tours in these occupation theaters and were printed in media outlets today:

Shortage of military therapists creates strain

Amputations. Combat stress. Divorce. Suicide. For troubled service members, military therapists are at their sides.

But with the U.S. fighting two wars, an acute shortage of trained personnel has left these therapists emotional drained and overworked, with limited time to prepare for their own war deployments.

An Army psychiatrist is suspected in the shootings at Fort Hood, Texas, and the rampage is raising questions about whether there's enough help for the helpers, even though it's unclear whether that stress or fear of his pending service in Afghanistan might be to blame.

An uncle of Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan said Saturday that Hasan was deeply affected by his work treating soldiers returning from war zones. "I think I saw him with tears in his eyes when he was talking about some of patients, when they came overseas from the battlefield," Rafik Hamad told The Associated Press from his home near the West Bank town of Ramallah.

Rep. Tim Murphy, R-Pa., a psychologist in the Navy Reserves, said the toll is sometimes described as "compassion fatigue" or "vicarious trauma."...>>>Rest Found Here

My subject title comes from this Op-Ed By Max Cleland in the New York Times

“EVERY day I was in Vietnam, I thought about home. And, every day I’ve been home, I’ve thought about Vietnam.” So said one of the millions of soldiers who fought there as I did. Change the name of the battlefield and it could have been said by one of the American servicemen coming home from Iraq or Afghanistan today. Wars are not over when the shooting stops. They live on in the lives of those who fight them. That is the curse of the soldier. He never forgets.

Snip

War is haunting. Death. Pain. Blood. Dismemberment. A buddy dying in your arms. Imagine trying to get over the memory of a bomb splitting a Humvee apart beneath your feet and taking your leg with it. The first time I saw the stilled bodies of American soldiers dead on the battlefield is as stark and brutal a memory as the one of the grenade that ripped off my right arm and both legs.

No, the soldier never forgets. But neither should the rest of us.

Veterans returning today represent the first real influx of combat-wounded soldiers in a generation. They are returning to a nation unprepared for what war does to the soul. Those new veterans will need all of our help. After America’s wars, the used-up fighters are too often left to fend for themselves. Many of the hoboes in the Depression were veterans of World War I. When they came home, they were labeled shell-shocked and discharged from the Army too broken to make it during the economic cataclysm...>>>Rest Found Here

Max has just came out with a book of his life, I put up a post about this as he was making the rounds discussing it, this is a cut from one post:

Former Sen. Max Cleland (D., Ga.) lost his legs and one arm in the Vietnam War. More than 30 years later, he returned to Walter Reed to be treated for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). His new book, "Heart of a Patriot:" begins with an open letter to America’s soldiers, urging them to seek help when they need it.

What are the chief obstacles for a soldier seeking treatment for PTSD?..>>>>>The Rest Found Here

Max's Book: "Heart of a Patriot: How I Found the Courage to Survive Vietnam, Walter Reed and Karl Rove"

UpDated Added Link:

"This is such a betrayal"

A Chaplain Discusses the Long Recovery From Ft. Hood and the Lasting Legacy of PTSD

An ordained Baptist chaplain and army captain, Roger Benimoff spent two tours of duty in Iraq and months between deployments counseling soldiers in the U.S. During his career, he provided spiritual guidance to American soldiers through crises of faith, bereavement, and trauma until he himself broke down. While training and working as a chaplain at Walter Reed during the height of its crisis, Benimoff was diagnosed with chronic PTSD and spent months of treatment at some of the facilities where he trained as a caretaker.

Snip

Is "contact" or "secondary" PTSD a genuine problem?

Oh yes, definitely. I didn't have much time to counsel before I was deployed—I had only three weeks active duty before going over—but I would debrief my soldiers in Iraq all the time about events I was not present at.

Snip

Why did you leave the army?

I could not stay in the army any longer and do good. There was a part of me who hated all of humanity because I could not understand the atrocities that people would commit, the horrors that people are capable of. I hated humanity and I hated God and I hated myself...>>>Rest Found Here

Women at Arms: Coping with PTSD

A Combat Role, and Anguish, Too

For Vivienne Pacquette, being a combat veteran with post-traumatic stress disorder means avoiding phone calls to her sons, dinner out with her husband and therapy sessions that make her talk about seeing the reds and whites of her friends’ insides after a mortar attack in 2004.

As with other women in her position, hiding seems to make sense. Post-traumatic stress disorder distorts personalities: some veterans who have it fight in their sleep; others feel paranoid around children. And as women return to a society unfamiliar with their wartime roles, they often choose isolation over embarrassment.

Many spend months or years as virtual shut-ins, missing the camaraderie of Iraq or Afghanistan, while racked with guilt over who they have become.

Snip

Some psychiatrists say that women do better in therapy because they are more comfortable talking through their emotions, but it typically takes years for them to seek help. In interviews, female veterans with post-traumatic stress said they did not always feel their problems were justified, or would be treated as valid by a military system that defines combat as an all-male activity...>>>Rest Found Here

Women at Arms

A record number of women are coming home from war with post-traumatic stress disorder. Four years after leaving Iraq, Shalimar Bien explains her continuing struggle.

Women at Arms
The Psychological Scars

Articles in this series explore how the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have profoundly redefined the role of women in the military.
Previous Articles in the Series

A series many should visit and read.

A Marine Dies Needlessly

Autopsy report released in Round Rock Marine's death

Chad Oligschlaeger is found to have died from multiple drug toxicity.

The U.S. Marine Corps has released the autopsy report for Cpl. Chad Oligschlaeger of Round Rock, who was found dead in his room at the Twentynine Palms Marine base in California on May 20, 2008.

Snip

The report shows that methamphetamine and the antidepressants sertraline and benzodiazepine were found in Oligschlaeger's system. Propranolol, a hypertension drug used to treat post-traumatic stress disorder, and Quetiapine, an antipsychotic medication, were also found.

"There were no surprises there," Eric Oligschlaeger, Chad Oligschlaeger's father, said of the autopsy results. "The prescription drugs killed him."

Chad Oligschlaeger had returned from Iraq in early 2006, unsettled by flashbacks and nightmares.

How many others are OD'ing on the drugs the military are giving the soldiers who develop PTSD or even from their physical injuries of War! According to this short report they don't think it was a suicide.

Episode Six: No Longer a Monster

This is Where We Take Our Stand Final Episode

"No one could hear our stories and still support this s***!" -- Geoff Millard

No Longer a Monster from Displaced Films on Vimeo.

No Longer a Monster: "There are no more authoritative voices to speak out about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan than the people who have been there under fire," declares singer Tom Morello (The Nightwatchman, Rage Against the Machine), as he leads a raucous celebration of three days of intense, painful, and liberating testimony. And while James Gilligan reveals the deep similarities between the "bad war" (Iraq) and the "good war" (Afghanistan), Jon Turner declares for all, "I am sorry for the things that I did, I am no longer the monster that I once was."

This is Where We Take Our Stand, the series that tells the riveting and timely story of the hundreds of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who testified at last year's Winter Soldier investigation, continues today. Watch episode five, tell friends, forward this email, spread the word and fan the debate. These stories must be heard.

Death Row Inmate Receives Purple Heart

N.C. death row inmate receives medals earned in Vietnam

James Floyd Davis would never know freedom again.

Now 62 years old, slightly stooped with thick reading glasses and pasty skin, he looks far removed from the wild-eyed loner who snapped in a violent, bloody spree 14 years ago.

And he looks far removed from the tanned, wiry young man who traded an abusive home life for two tours in the jungles of Vietnam - and a chunk of shrapnel that still throbs in his thigh when the weather turns cold.

All of that past, all of that horror and hurt, stared through thick reading glasses at Jim Johnson as the retired Fayetteville therapist tried to discover who James Davis was.

Johnson, however, wasn't there because Davis was disturbed. He was there because Davis, like Johnson, was a soldier. Both had served in Vietnam during the maelstrom of the Tet Offensive.

Snip

The men also shared post-traumatic stress disorder, the result of battle stress during the war. Johnson, though eventually a lieutenant colonel and a successful therapist, struggled with its effects for decades. His condition gave him a unique perspective as a family and marriage counselor at Snyder Memorial Baptist Church.

The effects of PTSD on the already-fragile psyche of Davis were far more damaging. Although he reached the rank of sergeant, "He said the war just wore him out," Johnson said.

Snip

The Army was happy to send the medals. The prison was less enthusiastic about letting him receive them.

"They said no, like we expected," Rose said. "It was something that was just too unusual. It would take intervention by someone higher up the ladder."

Johnson found that someone in James French, a former warden of Central Prison and now deputy director of the state's correction system.

He also was a Vietnam veteran. He was wounded during the war and received a Purple Heart. Would he be willing to allow a fellow veteran the same honor?

French thought about it and agreed...............Read Rest Here

To both of our brothers, Thank You Jim for fighting for the well deserved recognition long overdue for Jim Davis, not only as to the Purple Heart but his other ignored medals and ribbons of service.

If the Country would have listened he may have gotten the Help Needed, after his two tours, to cope with the experiences of Wars of Choice and even his Childhood trauma's!

They didn't then nor for these next four decades until we were finally able to push the results of Wars of Choice, especially, into the mainstream conscious, Lessons Not Learned, as we waged two more long running occupations and many returning soldiers are fighting the demons of war and occupations. Once again the country is playing catchup, more Lessons Not Learned!

Army Times

Death row inmate gets Purple Heart from Vietnam

Guards took the shackles off death row prisoner James Davis and led him into a small room to get the Army medals he earned more than 40 years ago.

The North Carolina inmate slouched over as retired therapist Jim Johnson picked up the Purple Heart and the Good Conduct medals Davis earned in Vietnam, but never received.

But Johnson recalled that as he prepared to pin the medals on the triple-murderer from Asheville, Davis snapped to attention, hands cupped to the side. Johnson stepped back, and the two Tet Offensive veterans looked at each other. Davis then gave a textbook-sharp salute, Johnson said......Read Rest Here

"Searching for Home"

Searching for Home:Coming Back from War {facebook site page}

A moving film from Director Eric Christiansen and Executive Producer Anthony Edwards

Tell your friends!

Please become a fan, at facebook, to keep up to date!

Trailer


Official "Searching for Home" website, which is still under construction as they just released the trailer, above, on their facebook page on 8.13.09

About the Film pdf

The Hell of War Comes Home:

Newspaper Series Documents Murder, Suicide, Kidnappings by Iraq Vets

A startling two-part series published in the Gazette newspaper of Colorado Springs titled "Casualties of War" examines a part of war seldom discussed by the media or government officials: the difficulty of returning to civilian life after being trained to be a killer. The story focuses on a single battalion based at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, the 2nd Battalion, 12th Infantry Regiment. Soldiers from the brigade have have been involved in brawls, beatings, rapes, drunk driving, drug deals, domestic violence, shootings, stabbings, kidnapping and suicides. The Army unit's murder rate is 114 times the rate for Colorado Springs. We speak with the reporter who broke the story and get the Army's response.

Listen/Watch/Read

My previous post on this report only a few days back.

Casualties of War

Last week the Colorado Springs 'The Gazette' had another very disturbing report, in two parts, following up previous reports of soldiers of OIF and OEF who committed murders. These, from all I can find out, were just regular teens, no trouble out of the ordinary prior to their military service. But once sent to these occupations, sometimes more then once, they returned like many of our brother 'Nam Vets, very troubled and not getting the help needed or not seeking because of the nature of military service, added to their situations of multiple tours, longer tours then we served and little down time between, their nightmares caught up to them by abusing drugs and alcohol, by acting out in rage, by loosing control.

Are they guilty? If they committed these crimes yes they are, we are a Nation of Law, though some seem to be able to not only ignore that or be above that they actually have supporters that will argue about holding them accountable. But we as a society have a share in their guilt, we sent them into these hells on earth when other options should have and could have been followed, sent on failed policies and then having more failed policies stack on to create long running occupations of death and destruction.

This first link is a more recent report a few days following the Gazette report.

Soldiers in Colorado slayings tell of Iraq horrors

Sun Jul 26 COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – Soldiers from an Army unit that had 10 infantrymen accused of murder, attempted murder or manslaughter after returning to civilian life described a breakdown in discipline during their Iraq deployment in which troops murdered civilians, a newspaper reported Sunday.........

Snip

Several soldiers said unit discipline deteriorated while in Iraq.

"Toward the end, we were so mad and tired and frustrated," said Daniel Freeman. "You came too close, we lit you up. You didn't stop, we ran your car over with the Bradley," an armored fighting vehicle..............Rest Here

And these two reports are so disturbing that the Editor gives a lead in warning about the content and reason for.

Colorado Springs: The Gazette

EDITOR'S NOTE: A note of caution about the Lethal Warriors package

For as long as wars have been waged, soldiers have been sent to kill or be killed. The lucky ones survive. Some return home unscathed; others are shell-shocked and emotionally scarred for life.

That’s been true forever. But something changed in Iraq. Thanks to modern medicine, transportation and gear, soldiers survived injuries that would have killed yesterday’s troops. They patrolled streets without battle lines, where smiling civilians waved one day and silently watched ambushes the next. Multiple deployments moved soldiers from war to home and back, again and again.

Snip

A word of caution: The details of battle are graphic, and the language of soldiers is, at times, profane.........

And a few of the reports snippets with links follow:

July 24, 2009 Part I: The hell of war comes home

Before the murders started, Anthony Marquez’s mom dialed his sergeant at Fort Carson to warn that her son was poised to kill.

It was February 2006, and the 21-year-old soldier had not been the same since being wounded and coming home from Iraq eight months before. He had violent outbursts and thrashing nightmares. He was devouring pain pills and drinking too much. He always packed a gun.

Snip

Marquez was the first infantry soldier in his brigade to murder someone after returning from Iraq. But he wasn’t the last.

This month, Fort Carson released a 126-page report {pdf} by a task force of behavioral-health and Army professionals who looked for common threads in the soldiers’ crimes. They concluded that the intensity of battle, the long-standing stigma against seeking help, and shortcomings in substance-abuse and mental-health treatment may have converged with “negative outcomes,” but more study was needed.

Marquez, who was arrested before the latest programs were created, said he would never have pulled the trigger if he had not gone to Iraq.

“If I was just a guy off the street, I might have hesitated to shoot,” Marquez said this spring as he sat in the Bent County Correctional Facility, where he is serving 30 years. “But after Iraq, it was just natural.”

In August 2007, Louis Bressler, 24, robbed and shot a soldier he picked up on a street in Colorado Springs.

In December 2007, Bressler and fellow soldiers Bruce Bastien Jr., 21, and Kenneth Eastridge, 24, left the bullet-riddled body of a soldier from their unit on a west-side street.

{ Hear the prison interviews with Kenneth Eastridge }

In May and June 2008, police say Rudolfo Torres-Gandarilla, 20, and Jomar Falu-Vives, 23, drove around with an assault rifle, randomly shooting people.

In September 2008, police say John Needham, 25, beat a former girlfriend to death...............The Rest of Part 1 Here

This video isn't a part of the two part report but is about the contents of.



July 24, 2009 Part II: Warning signs

After coming home from Iraq, 21-year-old medic Bruce Bastien was driving with his Army buddy Louis Bressler, 24, when they spotted a woman walking to work on a Colorado Springs street.

Bressler swerved and hit the woman with the car, according to police, then Bastien jumped out and stabbed her over and over.

(A word of caution about the language and content of this story: Please see Editor's Note)

It was October 2007. A fellow soldier, Kenneth Eastridge, 24, watched it all from the passenger seat.

Many of the soldiers behind bars and their family members say the violence at home is a consequence of the violence in Iraq. They came home angry, confused, paranoid and depressed. They had trouble getting effective mental heath care. Most buried their symptoms in drugs and alcohol until they exploded.

The Army is seeking new ways to care for returning soldiers and keep the violence from returning — crucial now, because the unit shipped out in May to Afghanistan, where the monthly coalition casualty rate has doubled since the beginning of the year. Soldiers are scheduled to return to Colorado Springs in spring 2010.

The first step toward solving the problem, the post’s most recent commander said, is to understand it.

Graham, who had one son killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq a year after his other son committed suicide while training to be an officer, made mental health a focus after taking command of Fort Carson.

He said suicide and homicide are “different reactions to the same or similar problem. You treat both in the same way.”

This video also isn't in these reports, it's a previous ABC News Video of Maj. Gen. Mark Graham:

After two tours in Iraq, Eastridge was depressed, paranoid, violent, abusing drugs and haunted by nightmares. But because he was other-than-honorably discharged, he said, he was ineligible for benefits or health care. He was no longer Uncle Sam’s problem. He was on his own.

“I had no job training,” he said. “All I know how to do is kill people.”............The Rest of Part 2 Here

Once again these and all those we've sent into long running occupations are this Countries responsibility, a Country that quickly, seems like we're repeating again, forgets that simple fact! Our policies are done in our names, we send military troops to occupy others it's in our names!

And we readily forget those we occupy, the deaths, the destruction they now live in, the trauma's they suffer, the refugee's we've created, and in the world that's been, for the last few decades, the few lash out in retaliation for the policies done in our names! Now we've created much more hatreds, we have children that have grown up in the death and destruction, that's been their childhood, and we are reporting on what's happening to our own who served in these theaters of conflict, what has happened within those we've invaded and occupied!

So Wrong For So Long

There's a reason I use the breakin line to Greg Mitchells book So Wrong for So Long: How the Press, the Pundits--and the President--Failed on Iraq.

Part of that reason is an article printed in the Asian Times, I just finished reading.

The "So wrong for So long" not only can describe how our current tragic history has been evolving, and what may be coming in the short term future and beyond, in it's lack of competent leadership, it's rapidly changed policies of death and destruction of others pre-emptively for no reason or a veriaty of reasons with no foundations nor proof of existance, it's violations of human rights through arrests and torture of others on whims of suspicion or even less than that.

The 'So wrong for So long" describes how this country doesn't learn it's own lessons from it's own past in it's relative short existance.

One of those lessons is the lesson of War, especially the Wars of Choice leading into Occupations of Others and the terror those invasions and occupations bring upon them, those others haven't done a thing to deserve the total destruction of the World they once lived in and now is changed forever, with the children growing up in a World the complete opposite of what should be and shaping their lives from the experiances of that existance.

The article in the Asian Times is titled What it means when the US goes to war but could be titled with any countries name substituted or just "What it means to go to War". This is about what happens to American Soldiers sent into Invasions and Occupations of Choice, we've gone through all this before, lessons not learned, none of the lessons of!

American soldiers in Iraq daily face "atrocity producing situations", from patrols, convoys (which race along like freight trains of death), home raids, detentions and military checkpoints: the essence of war, after all, is death. Using the experiences of soldiers on the ground, Chris Hedges strips away the myths of glory and honor and discovers the uncommon "moral courage" that the veterans he quotes have exhibited by telling the truth about their war.

And moral courage it is, when for the health and sanity of the individual, that individual must let go of what's deeply hidden and speak out on what they have seen or taken part in, in the hell on earth War, man's destruction of others, man's terrorizing others to force their ideologies and beliefs on them, or simply to strip them of their individual dignity and material wealth and countries resources.

They confront the grave, existential crisis of all who go through combat and understand that we have no monopoly on virtue, that in war we become as barbaric and savage as those we oppose.

This is an extremely important read for the Uneducated and Unexperianced of War and Occupation, and for those who have but choose denial to cope, how all that one has grown to learn, in many area's of ones young life, is quickly stripped away in the reality of what man does to fellow man.

These are the already grown children, sent off to engage in these Wars, think of the experiances of the young children living in these theaters of war, this is how they are learning the lessons of the world they were born into, and growing up in as it continues, they can't be taught differant, they can hear about beauty and peace, tolerance and love, but they exist in a hell created around them, with all the fears and terror it brings, that man rages on other men.

Last night, in case you missed it, Greg Mitchell was one of the guests on the Bill Moyers Journal on PBS

If you did miss it, or would like to re-visit, you can watch it here as well as read the transcript

A few clips from the discussion:

GREG MITCHELL: Right. Well, that's — again, it's different coming from the chief White House spokesman than coming from me — you know, for better or worse. But you know, I — that's what I mean. I think what's troubling to me is the response to that. The media has not responded by saying, "Boy, we really got caught out here, and we really need to look at what we did wrong. And we're, you know, we need to report on what the mistakes we made and what we — you know, what we've really learned now."

Now a few days ago the Senate Intelligence Committee finally released a report about the lies the administration fabricated, and more, in the reasoning to invade an innocent country, Iraq. Bush knew Iraq claims weren't true. And what have the media placed front and center as most important, what Hillary Clinton will do now that this Historic Presidential Campaign has passed the torch of leadership to Barrack Obama, even half the time frothing over Hillary could and should have been used to report on the Intelligence Report and our Soldiers at War, but for myself even more should be reported! The PDF of the Report

JONATHAN LANDAY: What's disappoints me is that here was an opportunity, once again, but a very large opportunity for major news organizations to do the mea culpa they never did, to admit that they indeed failed to do what they're supposed to do, failed to be the watchdogs they're supposed to be.
And yet we saw exactly the opposite for the most part. And I was just I was left breathless by some of the things that I heard where you heard correspondents say, "Well, we did ask the tough questions. We asked them to the White House spokesmen," Scott McClellan and others. And you say to yourself, "And you expected to get real answers? You expected them to say from the White House podium — 'Yeah, well, there were disagreements over the intelligence, but we ignored them'" when the President made his speeches and the Vice President made his speeches. No, I don't think so.

They blew it once again this past week, and will blow it in the coming weeks!

JOHN WALCOTT: You know, if Fox News's mission is to defend Republican administrations then they're right, they didn't fail. One of the things that puzzles me about all of this, in Scott's book is this notion that it was the liberal media. I'm not — I don't understand what liberal versus conservative has to do with this. I would have thought that conservatives would be the ones to ask questions about a march to war. How much is this gonna cost us? What's the effect of this gonna be on our military, on our country's strength overseas?
I don't think it's a liberal conservative question at all. I think that's, frankly, a canard by Scott

I highlighted the passage above because that's what I've felt right from the beginning even though it was so called conservatives beating the drums louder and louder for invasion and occupation, but I've been answered over and over with the fact that Conservatism, as it once was, is dead, none existant, undefined, in this new century. What's replaced it can only be described with a word from the past, Facism, for the many resemblances to.

GREG MITCHELL: You'd have to see whether the press this time would use the phrase "taking care of Iran." Now, what does that mean? Even if you do bomb Iran, what does that do? What is the aftereffect? What is the overall effect of it? What does it do to, you know, how many people do you kill? What happens in the wreckage afterwards? So if it's the media is — which it didn't do with Iraq — does it in this case then people will have a better understanding of what we're letting ourselves in for if we do attack Iran.
JOHN WALCOTT: That's an excellent point because the failures before the war on Iraq are probably matched by the failure to ask this question about invading Iran. Is it really gonna be easy? Are we really gonna be greeted with flowers and chocolates, as liberators, which is what the defectors told us? And one of the things this Administration has never been able to get through its head is the old saying that the enemy has a vote, that the enemy, whatever you do, they will respond in some way. And the Iranian-

Can the World, and our National Security, become worse than it is today, in the near future? Yes, invaded or bomb Iran and watch the Hatreds and Growth of Enemies result from!!

A Country like ours should be Leading by Example, making friends not enemies, helping others not destroying them, setting examples of moral and human tolerance and dignity not joining those who torture and control, trying to live as we preach, not condemning others when doing the same.........................................................................!

Setting the Example that can be Admired and Followed!